Beasties & Bygones
By Javier Palenzuela & Edward Shannon
Al’Tearth, or Altea in the common tongue, is a land filled with war, magic, and naked wenches. A lot of naked wenches… Honestly, it’s mostly naked wenches and awkward sexy cabin boys. Why are they awkward? Only the Bygone Gods know. At least, in the minds of the adventurous, daring to brave the old deep places of the world in search of holy and taint-scarred fetishes left by the Bygones. Old stone, cobbled earth, the once pure fields of youth are now arid pit-stained deserts awaiting those poor souls foolish enough to venture into the unknown. Actually, it’s pretty well known, that you will likely die because you looted a golden phallic idol in search of fortune and happy endings.
In Altea, you could venture through the taint-festered lands of the nether regions or work your way through to hipster sacrosanct Babbalinnia. All-the-while the Bygones from ancient civilizations vie to prevent evil from blowing all life out of one of the many fabled Oculus Auburnarums and stop the Dreaded Brown Eyes spewing forth from the reawakened Mount Ashenhole to splatter horrors upon the land. Where an insidious corrupter known as The Dark Taint has erupted from the irritable bowels of the mountain. Perhaps you and your merry band of deviants and bedfellows can prevail. Probably not, these are gods after all. But you can at least ransack the riches of the deepest dungeons while conquering the evil that befouls them. Or screw the whole “mighty quest” to have a brew and get lucky with a wench, that is, if your rolls are high enough.
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Cover: Eli Ziv
Editors: EF Camacho, Gabriel Novo
Additional Writers: EF Camacho, Gabriel Novo